May 6

May 6 How To Help Your Loved One Suffering From Depression

According to WHO’s 2018 report over 300 million people worldwide suffer from mental health issues. Mental health is probably one of the most ignored health issue in India. With a population of 1.2 billion India has slightly more than just 43 Government-run mental Institutions.

When it comes to countries, India is the most depressed country in the world, according to the World Health Organisation, followed by China and the USA. India, China, and the US are the most affected countries by anxiety, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder.

Even with such shocking results, depression is still a stigma in the Indian Society. India is on the verge of a mental health crisis but the attitude of most Indians towards this issue isn’t helping much. The West has started taking it seriously there are counsellors at schools, colleges, offices, etc. but here in India we still link mental illness with black magic, demonic possessions, etc.

How-To-Help-Someone-Come-Out-Of-Depression

A 2018 National Survey Report on “How Indians Perceive Mental Health” by The Live Love Laugh Foundation explores the level of sensitivity and stigma that we Indians associate with mental illness.

The survey consisted of 3,556 respondents from eight cities across India, a staggering 47% of respondents were highly judgmental of people having a mental illness. People even considered that one should keep a safe distance from those who are depressed. 26% were afraid of the mentally ill. The respondents in these two categories were mostly from higher socio-economic backgrounds and were more educated. The survey concluded that these people were simultaneously more aware of mental health concerns while also being more likely to stigmatise and be afraid of those with mental illnesses.

Seeing this data it’s obvious that it’s still not easy for a depressed person to talk about his problem. In a country where even a huge celebrity like Deepika Padukone could only talk about her condition once she was out of it, makes it clear that the sensitivity level is very low among us Indians regarding this issue.

Think about it, all of us know at least one person in our social network who is suffering from some sort of mental illness. You open a newspaper and there is at least one suicide case in it every single day and most of those committing suicides are young people.

Our country still lags behind a lot in terms of mental healthcare but that does not stop us from making our contribution to this cause. If you know someone who suffers from depression whether it’s a family member or a friend or anyone else you know, try and help that person.

So, here’s a guide to how you could support a loved one suffering from depression.

1. Identify The Symptoms

Family and friends are often the first line of defence in the fight against depression. That’s why it’s important that you know and identify the signs and symptoms of depression. Your loved one is suffering from depression if he/she:

Doesn’t seem to care about anything.
Has lost interest in work, sex, hobbies, and other pleasurable activities.
Has withdrawn from friends, family, and other social activities.
Expresses a negative outlook on life.
Is uncharacteristically sad, irritable, short-tempered, critical, or moody; talks about feeling “helpless” or “hopeless.”
Frequently complains of aches and pains such as headaches, stomach problems, and back pain.
Sleeps less than usual or oversleeps.
Has become indecisive, forgetful, and disorganised.
Eats more or less than usual, and has recently gained or lost weight.
Drinks more or abuses drugs, including prescription sleeping pills and painkillers.

Has psychomotor agitation (restlessness) or retardation (slowed down).
Has recurrent thoughts of death, recurrent thoughts of suicide, or a suicide attempt or suicide plan.

Has angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters.
Has trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things even everyday things, such as watching TV or reading the paper.

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2. Listen and Talk Compassionately

If you have discovered that your loved one is suffering from depression it’s time you must speak to them about it. Also, don’t just talk to them but also listen to them. Sometimes it is hard to figure out how to begin, you might fear that if you bring up your worries they will get angry, feel insulted, or ignore your concerns.

Don’t try to “fix” the person just be a compassionate listener, listening to them helps more than giving advice. Depressed people tend to isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and listen to them over and over again, still be gentle and yet persistent.

When you are listening sit face to face with the person so you could see their reaction. Don’t be judgemental or try forcing the person to speak.

Begin with open-ended questions like- “How are you feeling?” or “Why do you think that?” and offer reassurance and hope, say things like "Thank you for telling me this", "There is a way through this", "I am here for you". Just try and show support that you are there for help.

3. Don’t Say These

It’s really important to be kind and accepting when dealing with a person who is depressed. Opening up to someone was already difficult for them, you don’t want to say something judgemental and stupid which could send them spiralling into guilt and anxiety.

Don’t ever say anything close to these phrases:

“you’re too much”
“I can’t deal with you”
“It’s all in your head”
“We all go through times like this.”
“Look on the bright side.”
“You have so much to live for, why do you want to die?”
“I can’t do anything about your situation.”
“Just snap out of it.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
“Shouldn’t you be better by now?”

The person already feels alone and this can make their depression worse.

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4. Encourage The Person To Get Treatment

Even though the person might have confided in you and told you about how he feels, getting him ready to visit a doctor might still be difficult. Maintaining secrecy is important, most people don't seek help because of the fear of what people might say. People visiting psychiatrist are still considered ‘mad’ by many.

Encourage the depressed person to seek treatment. Depression saps energy and motivation, so even the act of making an appointment or finding a doctor can seem daunting. If your friend or family member resists getting help:

You could suggest a general check-up with a physician. If the doctor diagnoses depression, he or she can refer your loved one to a psychiatrist or psychologist.
Offer to help your depressed loved one and find a doctor or therapist and go with them on the first visit.
Encourage the person to make a list of symptoms to discuss with the doctor. Depression seldom gets better without treatment, and it can actually worsen over time.

Explain what you’ve learned about the symptoms of depression and how depression can negatively impact people

5. Help Them Stick To Their Medication Routines

Taking medication regularly is vital. Help the person stick to the routine, remind them if they forgot to take their medicine. But don’t force them to take the medicine, if he is not feeling good after taking the medicine suggest them to switch to a new doctor. You could help the person by looking up some other doctors or medical help services. They may feel demotivated after the first treatment but encourage them to not lose hope.

6. Act If The Depression Worsens Or The Person Becomes Suicidal

If the depression has worsened action is required asap. Encourage your loved one to work with his doctor and think of what to do when signs and symptoms reach a certain point. If you notice the depression is worsening ask your loved one to:

Contact the doctor and adjust or change medications.
See a psychotherapist.
Take self-care steps, such as to eat healthy meals, get an appropriate amount of sleep and be physically active.

If you observe any suicidal tendencies or thoughts, take all signs seriously and act immediately.

Talk to the person about your concern. Ask if he or she has been thinking about attempting suicide and has planned on how to do it. Having an actual plan indicates a higher likelihood of attempting suicide.
Seek help. Contact the person's doctor, mental health provider or other health care professional. Let other family members or close friends know what's going on.
Create a safe environment. If possible, eliminate things that could be used to attempt suicide.

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The Bottomline

Dealing with a person who is suffering from depression is not easy and can take a toll on you as well. You might end up feeling angry and frustrated. It’s painful to see someone you love suffer and there’s a natural urge to fix the problems of the people we care about, but you can’t control someone else’s depression. Also, it’s important that you take care of yourself.

Don’t hesitate to speak out when the depressed person upsets you. This will actually help the relationship in the long run. Suffering in silence may build up emotions and may lead to a burst out or the other person might catch on the negative vibes which could be much worse.

Don’t try and be a round the clock caretaker, your own mental health will suffer if you let your life be controlled by your loved one’s depression. Do as much as you are willing and able to do, let the therapist handle the rest.